Thurs, 1st Dec... Venue: Baby's palace (Sitting right beside you)
Baby,
I really don't know how should I react or how to express my feelings... Though I'm with you, staying with you but you seems so far from me... I don't know if you are still in love with me but it seems like I still hold on to you too much... Fetching you from airport last night, reminds me of our good times together when we just started. I drove all the way to KLIA to fetch you when you land from Sarawak. You were so surprise and happy to see me at the exit of the arrival. You were really really happy and I do missed that feeling. I still remember that you told me...all these years NO ONE ever FETCH or SEND you to airport when you go on trip. All the while you were trained to be independent by your EXs. But I pampered you and spoilt you... That time you were really glowing with joy and happiness....
From start till now it's not even longer than 6 months... Things change like tornado... You're hot and you're cold at time... Sometimes I really don't know how should I treat you... Ask me to ignore you, I just can't... I just want to be close to you but I know that's not the way... You're probably taking me as a flamboyant but I do take you seriously. I don't mind sending you up and down although your palace and mine it's like at another end of the world. To me, as long as i can be by your side to watch and guard over you...lend you a hand when you needed too.... I'm satisfy.
Getting along with your mum and sisters seems to be much more easier though... :) I don't mean that you're hard to handle... Like I told you earlier... being with you is really on a roller coaster ride... You can be at your peak happily and suddenly you can drop till the pit very depressed... Thank God that my patience tolerance level is quite high.... Probably God still thinks that my patience level is not enough thus paired me up with you... My heart is always with you if you realize... I seldom say no to you... unless I really can't... but now I have this question in my mind... Are you taking me for granted? My previous relationship proved that... Being smart and caring is not a good thing at times... I don't know... I don't know what to feel anymore... Right now I'm just walking without a soul... I gave my heart to you but I guess you dumped it away... I don't know...
If you think that I want something from you... You are definitely wrong... You have nothing that I want... It's just that I ACCIDENTLY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU... I don't regret loving you but I'm starting to feel exhausted... Sometimes I do need your care but... Hhhmmm.... I don't think you'll really understand my character, thoughts or how I feel about you... cause you never tried... I understand you too much now cause I learn about you... I didn't tell you that I was actually very interested in psychology and i read a lot about it... I actually observed you and your family and finally i know why you behave the way you are... Because I understand you too much... that's why I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE....
Though you are very close to me but your heart is just too far away... I wish that I could say 'Baby, I love you' once more...
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