11th Nov, Fri, 0001… Clear sky
Well…this suppose to date on Thurs because it’s the 2nd day without you… I just got home not long ago. Left Library about 11pm then I drove to your house. I was at your house just now, baby…I saw your room’s lights on. My car stopped right in front of your house. How I wished you’ll come out to smoke so that I could see you…. I tried to get over you but I just can’t, baby…Baby, I couldn’t! I was all alone at Library…thinking about how we used to be there when we firstly started off… That’s the place when our small little spark became fire. That was the place you just can’t get your eyes off me, baby… Had a couple of drinks and I left… The first place that came into my mind is your house… cause I am so used to going back there now compared to mine… Listening to the song that you used to sing to me…by James Ingram ‘I don’t have a heart’… Rings a bell, baby?
Walk past, Finnegan’s and their band was singing…Lady Antebellum ‘Need You Now’…Makes me more depressed cause that was our favourite song that we used to duet together whenever we go for karaoke…
I can’t hold it anymore and my tears just dropped when I reach the car park… Baby..do you know why I parked there? Cause I want you to know that I’m always there for you whenever you reached office. I purposely put my luggage in front. Just in case, you so happen to peep into my car…You’ll know that I’m always ready to go with you where ever you wana go… Baby…do you know that I’m sinking inside. I tried to be as jovial as possible but to be honest…deep inside of me…I’m just as broken as the scattered piece of glasses….I don’t even know how to fix myself right now…
Do you know how I wish to call you right now? But I promise you that I won’t bother you no more… I just have to keep to that… Baby…do you know that I loved you? Have you ever really loved me? I know you just take me as a flamboyant… I knew it since the beginning…but I don’t mind…cause I just want to be there to protect you…take care of you…and love you… I am breaking apart silently, do you know that baby?
Today when you came over…I actually saw you took a glimpse of me… You want to know whether am I looking at you…I was to be honest…You scent is so strong…that I can smell you coming… I think I am going crazy soon…I think I saw you everywhere… I was sitting at the coffee shop where we used to have our lunch or dinner, having a glass of coffee….I had not been eating for 2 days now… I think I’m going aneroxic soon… but HECK IT!!! I don’t care anymore… How I wished you will pass me by….But I think…we were still destined to be together and I saw you at Zouk… I was nearly hit by a car when I’m heading your way before I saw you and your bestest friend having lunch… I don’t know what reaction should I gave you cause I was so hurt and I was holding back my tears… That’s why I don’t say much…
I thought of having dinner with you but you were in a hurry…I think I know where you are heading to… Slimming right? J I know you are damn busy so I didn’t really disturb you… I had dinner with our colleagues but my heart and mind was thinking about you… I literally saw you everywhere…. How I wished they were you?! I missed you, baby… Can we be like how we used to be? I thinking I’m driving myself crazy thinking about you…. Do you know how hurt I am but I couldn’t tell no one? You were the one and only one that I’ve got…
I’m a little drunk and I’m listening to Lady Antebellum ‘Need You Now’…. How I wish you are here with me, baby? If only you know what I knew… If only you feel what I felt… One day you’ll know…
I love you, baby…
Signing off at 12.32am, 11th Nov, Friday.
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