Your guardian angel...

Hey baby,

How was your outing today? Did your team drive you up the wall again? I hope everything went well with you... Last night I really had a good time...

I didn't thought that I would spend the night with you again. I wasn't intend too. Actually if you don't feel like going out...I'm fine. We can just cancel the date but you didn't want to. I thought we'll have a quick dinner and I'll send you home at about 10pm but eventually we sit and talk till got KICK OUT by the guard thinking that we have problem. Hahaha! What a joke! This is the first time in my life experiencing something like this so ridiculous and it's with you... Hhhhmmm.... Something for me to ponder about. I guess you really give me lots of surprises in my life.

Baby, there's something in me that I don't know how to explain to you. I know you will not love me... I don't know whether you're just playing with me or what... But the feeling that I'm getting from you is that you're neither playing nor serious. Probably you like the attention and care that I shower you with. When suddenly I decided to stop, you felt like kinda not use to it so you head back to me again. You are really driving me nether here nor there... Left me wondering what is going on between us... When I told you that it's ok to cancel, you reluctant. The YOU that I know, will definitely cancel the date if you're damn exhausted and your date is not someone whom you really care. I guess you might worry that you left me feeling disappointed or you really want to see and talk to me about what have you been doing these 2 days since we didn't really talk when you were away.

Well, I do felt happy when you suddenly asked me why I didn't ask you what have you learn for the past 2 days.... It means that you want me to know what happen to you, want me to care about your life... To be honest with you, I do care about every lil bit about you. That's why I bought you ciggarette whenever i found your fav brand. I'm sure you have already run down by the time I give you and you can't really find it. I want you to know that no matter what happens or how you treated me... I really don't mind... I will always be by your side to watch over you and to guard you, not letting any harm comes upon you. Be it rain or shine, whether you're healthy or sick, I'll always be there for you....

When you keep asking me about my luggage in the car... I know you're waiting for me to say that I stand by clothes to go to your house. You were quite disappointed when I just say that I forgot to bring down from my car. Then you asked me is it only dirty clothes inside... Deep down in me I knew that you do have intention to ask me over again. When I told you that it's all clean clothes, you said why I bring luggage... 'Who says want to let you stay?'... Then I answered you back, since when I said I want to stay with you... You were taken aback.... Then you keep quiet.   =P

Do you know that I did it on purpose? You didn't thought that I will actually answer you this way... My answer is out of your expectation... You make me do ridiculous thing again, drive to one mall for 5 mins then to another mall again. Just like previously when you said you want to buy my t-shirt...Find parking for 10 mins then go down not even 15 mins, we leave the mall. This is really not my style... I think I really pampered you too much... But you didn't realize it nor you appreciate it... Seriously, as long as you're happy, others really doesn't matters to me... We had the most expensive sandwiches dinner ever in my whole life. Seeing you enjoying it... really worth paying for...

Our journey back home is kinda still and I enjoy having you sitting beside me... I told you not to smoke in my car but you don't bother... I still let you... I really don't know what got into my head till I can let you puff in my car... I never like people smoking but I fell in love with someone smoking like a chimney... You were smoking a lot last night... I really fell like stopping you but I know you wouldn't like it so I just keep my mouth shut and let you smoke.... I guess this is what love really meant... When you truly love a person, you'll accept the ugly part of that person as well... Erm.. not to that you're ugly ok, baby? But it means your weaknesses. I accept the fact that you do drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney and can be an AWARD WINNING DRAMA QUEEN.... So I don't mind going out with you...sit there quietly and guard over you. You can be as drama as you want... but I will still love you silently... Cause I know that you have a heart too and you can fell it but you just don't say it out...

Finally, when you're about to reach home... You can hold it and you just pop out the statement, 'You want to stay for the night or not? Don't say that I didn't ask you!'.... I know why are you so quiet back then when we were on our way home... You were having dilemma about this. I think you remember that you told me, you needed space and you're working on Sat. :)

I guess somehow, you just like the attention that I gave when you're not feeling well don't you? You'll tell me that you're not well and you actually expect me to react... You want me to pamper you... Last night you were actually having slight headache before bed but you keep quiet. Then you toss and turn and finally you ask me whether I bring the cream with me... I know you want me apply on you. Do you know that you can actually apply it yourself but you didn't. You just let me... Though I didn't on lights but I can see your face and expression ok? :)    You can't see me without glasses but I can see you crystal clear.... I saw you smiling and your expression is really happy and you enjoy it... It's like you're being pampered by your sweetheart... I can recognize this look... It's exactly the same when we were still together...

I think you'll be really happy being with me if it's not because of my restriction... You will never ever let me go cause you know that I do love you wholeheartedly and I can accept you as who you are... That's the most important thing.. You know you could count on me no matter cause I will always be there for you... Be it in your job or your family... I'm always there for you...

Though you can never love... I don't mind to be your guardian angel watching silently from afar.... :)