Day 3

Hey, baby...

I should have wrote this yesterday night...but I was too drunk to do anything...I didn't even bath nor brush...i literally lay on the bed when i reached home... I called you is just to have a casual chat actually...nothing else...I didn't intend to call you to talk about us...I just want to hear your voice... When you didn't pick up, i thought you were sleeping so i don't want to wake you up so I quickly hung up.

I remember my promise to you...I did kept it. It's just that you don't understand me...I went to Library...but i didn't get myself drunk or do anything silly...I just had 2 glasses then off i go when the band finished. No doubt i drove to your house but i'm still very sane. I just cry like a baby in my car... I know you are busy and you don't want any personal stuffs to affect you. I understand that. That's why when i thought of getting drunk, i actually remember my promise to you...So i stop.

I don't know what's your intention coming over and sit on my chair and waited for me to come back...I don't understand why you asked me to wait for you at your car when i told you that i left office...You were rushing down...i knew it... You actually love me...but you were too afraid to fall in love...you are afraid of getting hurt once more...

You are constantly angry because...I love you too much and you can't love me back. You did a lot of nasty things to me or say nasty words to me, hoping that i will be angry with  but sorry to tell you, baby...that's not me...In my life, I haven't meet anyone that could cause me stay angry for long. Even my very first love that betrayed me to my group of peers, ditched me and be with my friend...I still forgave her and be her friend even till now...When she broke up with my friend, I'm the first that comes to her mind and she called me. I fetched her over to my house for the night and let her chilled out. That's me baby....I don't know how to treat people bad or angry at someone....

I remember every single words that you said to me last night...You asked me why i called? You asked me why i still asked you for dinner? You asked me why i bought you ciggi? You said i will definitely don't like it if you pay me back...You said that I'd promised you that i won't do stupid things....Why i still go to library? I asked you what's wrong going to library...You told me that going to library and get drunk is a stupid thing. I told you that i did kept my promise to you and I didn't do anything stupid. You said you have so much work to focus on lately and you don't want distraction from your personal life. To be honest, baby...You are still human...You are not robot that can be reformat after pushing the reset button...You are still flesh and blood with emotion. What's wrong with letting it out? i hung up your call last night and today i actually feel very terrible...

I'm sorry, baby....Just wished that you'll know... I did kept my promise to you!