It hurts...

Hey, baby...

It's been 2 days that i've not been talking to you... I knew you block me from Facebook when I no longer seeing you appearing on my right chat friends panel... You don't need to tell me, i already know...Guess you've forgotten that lately I 'breath eat sleep die' on FB... I purposely post all the messages on FB so that you'll eventually talk to me cause i'm not allow to communicate with you in any ways... I eventually succeeded and u ask me out for a drink to tell me off...

To be honest with you, i've expected all these...That's why i just stay real calm throughout the whole session... You ask me why i got no response... You expected me to cry... Well, you don't really know me enough yet baby... I WILL NOT LET MY TEARS fall in front of anyone especially in public... Cause my tears are actually falling like rain deep inside my heart without you knowing it...I pretend like I'm really happy and carefree... but deep down in me...I'm deeply hurt and wounded...My heart are broken into pieces...

Now, i'm just living on our scattered pieces of memories... I didn't know that you actually saw me walking into your house the other day...I knew you were in the room but wasn't sure if you're that alert...Well, guess you are.... I think I have been a part of your life somehow and you realize that it's kinda hard for you when i'm not around... That's why now, you used all sorts of ways and words to kick me out so that you won't depend on me that much... You also can't accept the fact that you had actually fall for me... I felt it, but probably you'll not agree... Like i told you yesterday, you always had your way out in saying everything... Leaving other people speechless... In my life, i never lost in reasoning with someone but i lost it with you.... It's not that i lost...It's just that i give in to you cause i love you so much and i don't want to 'break your secret'.... I actually know why are you behaving like this... Don't forget...I've learned psychology too....

I know you didn't want to see me... but i really thought that you have left... I know you purposely flirt in front of me...You don't feel good too when i'm being too close with your colleague... The way you push my head is really with force. I know you are somehow jealous... When  I wana send you back, you are actually fine with me... You do like it instead but because i mistakenly said that you might be angry with me cause i will not let you drive home...It actually struck your head...on the words you told me yesterday when we had drink during the evening... That's when you start to misbehave and throwing tantrums in public... You can't accept the fact that I was always there with you whenever you needed someone too...

I really thought I could just dump you go home alone...I nearly drove home but i u-turn my car and drive to your house to see if you've reach. When I saw there were police and some cars stopped at the roadside cause of accident, my heart dropped... I thought i was you. So i drove slowly but thank God, it's not you. When i reach your house, i saw your car was well parked and your room lights on, I know you're in safe hand. I just left...

I am starting to let go of you in fact...But it's just that you didn't realize... You thought i am still hitting on you but the fact is I am not. Eventhough you're just my friend, i will still treat you the same way. I will not let anything happen to all the people around me... I will still watch you from afar and guard after you...

You're still close to my heart, baby...