Hey baby,
I don't know why i have the impulse to go to church today where usually i don't even if I'm here. I will usually sleep till don't know what time and i'll just went window shopping or clean the house. When we were together, probably right now we're in a mall dating. Then we'll have a fancy lavish dinner. Hhhmmmm... i really missed the good ol' days when we're together... I know that's not gonna happen anymore... Right now, you just hate to see my face...
Anyway, i remembered you told me about your church location...So i just give it a try to locate it. Not knowing when the service start and not knowing the exact place.... Somehow, i guess God doesn't want me to spend my Sunday in vain...I saw your brother-in-law walking to the church and i knew i got it right. So i parked behind his car and attend their service. I met your sisters and nieces... Your sister's friend could recognized me and was surprise seeing me there. They thought of making me feel more at ease by inviting me to sit with them but i told them i'm fine. I sit at one corner. Somehow today, i just don't feel like sitting with any familiar faces. Your sister is really good. You really should appreciate her more... She makes me feel comfortable. And I knew that she'll be the one that could really help you. Not so much of your elder one. I don't know do you feel the same but from my observation, I guess i might be right.
She asked me to stay back after church which i did. And she introduce me to the pastors which that's my intention. I needed help for the youths. They are really helpful and warmth.... Not like those that i've known of. And your sister is really helpful too. She gave me lots of ideas which i can used them next year with her help and others. Today i am really really grateful and thankful. Well, guess going to the church today is not coincidense but i found some ways to solve some problems which i've been facing for quite awhile.
We chatted quite long and your niece still remembers me... She told me that i'm her friend and she likes me too.... What a cute little girl... :) You are trully bless but you just couldn't see it, baby...Do you know that are sisters are so damn worried about you? She told me about you and asked me questions about you.... She asked me how are you doing lately cause you don't turn up for your family gathering... I said you're just busy with your job. Probably just wants to be alone at this point of time... I told her that we kind of less communicate lately cause both of us are busy too... She is soooo worried about you drinking like a fish... She really cares about you but she really don't know how cause you keep pushing them away....
She said she tried giving you lots of love, care and attentions but you just brush them off... I told her that she shouldn't give up on you. Not yet, Not now.... Just like how Jesus standing there beside us and never ever leave us although we keep pushing him to the corner... Because He's our family. Moreover, she is your sister... That is what she should do... no matter how you push her away...she should be always there standing behind you to support you, hold you up whenever you need a hand too... Cause that's what family are for.... She should show you more care and love to let you feel not so left out. I told her right now, you felt like you don't belong anyway.... You're feeling so left out... She does agrees with me and said that i'm right... She should really start playing her part as your sister... Let you know that it doesn't matter what you do or where you are....One thing that you should know is you always have your sisters there for you no matter whatever happen...
I can't be there to watch over you anymore, baby...This is what i can do for you... I guess there have been much misunderstanding between you and your family... Probably one day, all of you should sit down together and have a round table discussion to pull out the thorns that had been there deep in your heart for so long... Your family really love you alot but you just couldn't see it... I do envy you though, baby... They are really there for you when you needed them but mine.... I'll be very glad if they don't pinpoint at me or put me in troubles and i have to clean their mess.... I hope you'll appreciate what your sister are trying to do...
Baby, I hope you'll really grow up this time... You said that you're matured but to me...You are really not... Eventhough in relationship, you said that you're very matured in handling it...but to me you're not at all... You said i'm being immatured but honestly you just don't know what i'm trying to do... I am not that kind of person that like to explain my every action so i just keep quiet and let you think that way.... I know you might be even more angry with me when you know that i step in your family but i have no choice... I have to save you somewhere somehow....from all you negative unhealthy thoughts cause that's bringing you to no where and it's damaging your life without you knowing it but i can see it....
I don't know how to tell you all this...but i can just help you silently and hold you up once more... I'll try to use people around you to help you... I don't expect any reward from you or gratitude...but as long as you can stand up once more and happy, others just doesn't matters to me.... Cause that's what unconditional love means....
There's one thing that you never know about me cause you didn't really use your heart to understand my character....I never ever love someone with condition before.... Cause loving someone with condition will never last.... If you love someone...you'll prefer that person more than yourself....That's me... That's why you felt like I am over caring or care too much...cause never ever in your life...you have someone love you like this before... All those that you've been with before...always wants something from you in return but never for me.. I don't mind helping you nor doing things for you cause i want you to be the most blissful person on earth... You can be the queen and i don't mind doing the rest for you...
Since you can't accept that way...i can't force you... i'll have to let you go on your way but i'll never leave you alone unattended... I'll still be your guardian angel watching you silently from afar and lending you helping hand whenever you need it....
Nothing gonna change my love for you, baby.... I hope your relationship with your family will be better after this... I really hope your sister can help you cause i can't do it anymore....
Take care, baby...
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