Same place different feeling

14^th Nov, Mon (15^th Nov, 00.51am)

Baby…I know you went to Pavilion, probably is a lounge or pub like overtime. You posted up on FB, maybe it’s to let me know your whereabout… I don’t know…Maybe I’m being over sensitive…. Though you didn’t say who you are with but I can guess you are with your lifetime best friend…You and I know who that person is… J

I bought a FM modulator today. Mine suddenly spoilt last night when I started to drive back. I got to play all the songs that sang about break ups… I learned Chinese so that I could sing to you when we so happen to go sing K again…  I drove to a place where both of us would like to hang out together when we are free….but we only managed to went there twice…

I took the wrong turn again this time. Just like the first time when I’m trying to go Mont Kiara from my place…Mistaken taken the route to Damansara… Last time was with you but this time…I was all alone… Drove all the way to 1 U and u-turn back… Finally reach the place or to say our fav hangout place besides Library. Lan Tian by Ah Mei, Nicholas Teo Not Much and Just Love You Too Much by….. were playing in my car…My heart was so pain and full with sorrow…. My tears just fell… The images of us keep appearing in my mind….

Finally reached that place…Just ordered one pint & a fries…but this time…I smoke…I bought a pack of your fav ciggi….Thought of giving you but at that moment…I just wans smoke and drink….. Sit there all alone…listening to their live band singing all the sad love songs… Sat till about 11something, I’m kinda worry about you cause you were out  as well… I thought of texting you but I hold back…Finally, I text your lifetime buddy. She replied and I got to know that you are safe and sound with minimal alcohol… I was relieved….Anyway, I still went to your house and saw that your lights were off….I know you are sleeping sweet and sound….

I drove off and I came home. Along the way, my tears just wouldn’t stop…I don’t know why am I still so hurt…I thought I can let go of you… I thought I did but apparently…I can’t…. I miss you a lot, baby….. Though I was the same place where we used to laugh, hug and stare at each other but the feeling no longer the same…The person whom I used to went with…no longer there with me…

Signing off 15^th Nov, Tue, 0120…